Running Blind: The Tucson Border-Crossing Diaries

Day 4: Saturday, August 4, 2007

Across the Wire

Gómez-Peña told us that last night a man was killed by a train on the tracks that pass 20 feet behind our building. The back of the building has a loading bay that stays open most of the time so air can circulate. From it we can see the trains that seem to pass once an hour or so. The noise is enough to mask over our conversations and sometimes bring the business of the workshop to a stand still. The somber news was a stark counterpoint to our lively anarchist play. It lowered my enthusiasm by a few degrees. Besides, the adrenaline that drove me to delirium last night had withdrawn like a psychochemical tide leaving me high and dry in its aftermath. To top things off I had ignored the advice to keep my shoes on and took a large and painful splinter in my foot.
Already, today’s aikido-chess games looked like an uphill challenge. I drew Jorge M. as my partner. He is a tall, elegant man with a strong, magnetic personality who looked down on me with intense brown eyes. After starting our gazing protocol I began to feel like I was being surged by a powerful psychic undertow. Within moments of beginning our responsive gestures, Jorge boldly spit into my open outstretched palm. In the same instant his eyes flared with a theatric and diabolical expression like Valentino closing in for the kill. I froze for a moment as I grasped for a proper response. I wasn’t exactly angry but I definitely felt challenged. Should I spit back at him, wipe my hand on his shirt or just absorb the whole thing? After what seemed like a long pause, I rubbed my hand on the back of my sweaty forearm while facing the altered state the game had shifted into. I chose to absorb and wondered if anyone else saw. We continued but for now gazes and gestures had been turned into rapiers and aikido-chess games had been turned into fencing duels. Once again I was confronted out of nowhere with a conflicting set of emotions from across the wire that had left me struggling to regain my balance.

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